Saturday, April 5, 2008

Friends can sabotage your relationships with men

I was watching Simon Cowell on Regis and Kelly. He was talking about Ryan Seacrest and he made a comment about how none of us really want to see our friends do well. He said that we really don't want our friends to do better than us. In Simon's usual way I think he's got the nerve to be honest about this. If we really want to do a little better than our friends, it stand to reason that they all want to do a little better than us.

When it comes to relationships I think it's better not to trust your love life with your friends. It's up to you to meet and succeed with the man of your dreams. Sometimes it's better if none of your friends meet him until you know you've got a solid thing going on. It's amazing what little innocent things your friends might do to screw things up for you. I'm not saying they're bad people. I'm saying subconsciously they might rather have all this happiness for themselves.

Chances are slim that anyone is going to introduce you to an awesome guy unless they don't want him for themselves. If your girlfriends are married do they really want you to do better than they did? I think not.

If you think any of your friends have bad mouthed you to a guy behind your back, ask the guy. You have a right to defend yourself. If these so called friends are telling lies about you, you have a right to know. Sometimes you just find your friends being flirtatious or overly friendly with your new guy, then accuse you of being too sensitive or jealous. Don't ignore the signs of betrayal when it comes to friends or men.

If traveling in a pack hasn't worked for you or you suspect your friends are sabotaging your love live, it's time to fly solo for awhile. It's okay to keep your love life secret. Your best friend doesn't have to know everything and everyone. She can be on a need to know basis. Once you have a solid relationship with the guy, your friends can't do as much damage. It's also easier for a guy to approach you if you're on your own.

Women can be mean and selfish. Women can also be a lot of fun and a great support system.
Be wise. welcomes your comments.

Be Obvious (when you like a guy)

If you are meeting someone for the first time and you find you're attracted to them, flirt. Be obvious that you like them. Be positive, fun and happy. Don't play hard to get when you first meet someone.They will interpret it as you not liking them. If you are acting like you like them and not getting any response then you can safely say that the attraction isn't mutual.

If you need more time to get to know them to decide if you're into them or not it's still a good idea to be friendly with them. If you're rude or distant you could ruin your chance to get to know them better. Flirting is about making eye contact, flashing a smile, listening and asking questions. Show him that you want to get to know him better.

If you've made it obvious and you get no response you can simply move on to the next person you find attractive. You don't have to look back and worry that you we're being too reserved. You don't have to wonder if he's not sure if you like him. You made it obvious and now he can decide.

Men like to be liked. This does not mean that you should call him and profess your love for him. If he thinks you like him and he likes you back he will call you. If he doesn't have your number he will find it. Make it obvious that you find him attractive but allow him to pursue you. Men want to be in control of their own lives. They want to decide who to date and who not to.

He also wants to know that when he calls you'll say yes. If he's not sure he could shut down in fear and forget the whole thing. There is a fine line between being excited and being scared to death.

His actions will always speak louder than his words. If he's not in hot pursuit of you, "he's just not that into you."

If you've made it obvious that you like them and you get no phone call at least you can go to sleep at night knowing you did what you could. No regrets. Simply move ahead.